The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
