I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
