I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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