He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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