i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
