Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
