You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I could fuck to npr.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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