their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
