wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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