Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
