I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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