You work out of a Hotel?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
