We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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