Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
