Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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