they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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