By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
