Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
