i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
