but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
