also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
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just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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