We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
