I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
