I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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