Where is the hickey?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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