Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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