i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
