so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I am available for nakedness
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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