God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
we're so committed to being not committed
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
