he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
