have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
