just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
