in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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