is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
