Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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