I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
