i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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