Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
