I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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