When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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