when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
