thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
