I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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