i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
