There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
