dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
