btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
you had me at cake vodka
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
