I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize