Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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