dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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