I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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