you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
