Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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