I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
