Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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