i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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