I'm laying in your front yard are you home
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
