Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
