I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
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This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
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if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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