My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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