I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize
